I was flabberghasted when I first saw how many people seem to grow a phone from their ear and are constantly talking on one no matter where they are. Normally, I can go many days without ever needing a phone. Another thing is, I hate it with a passion, when I have to talk on a phone and other people in my presence can hear what I’m saying. I’m a one to one person...I can only deal with one person at a time. If I’m talking on a phone, I want to be out of earshot of anyone else, so that I can pay all my attention to the person on the phone. It doesn’t matter who I’m talking to or the subject, it just seems a private thing to me. Likewise, I also hate hearing someone else’s one-sided conversation. When reasonably possible, I like to remove myself from the vicinity of another talking on a phone. I don’t want to hear it...I don’t want it intruding into my hearing unless I am being addressed or it involves me somehow.
For many years I had two really good friends, Jimmy and Sam. I could spend hours with either one and be just fine. When I ended up with both of them at the same time I was anxious. They were not the sort of people who would ever have been friends unless they had a friend in common...me. I've always been that way...one person at a time is fine, two at once are two many.
I hate the idea of having anyone come to my house. It’s not about being embarrassed about the house, nor about not liking the person in question, or spending any time with them. I don’t want anyone with me in my house (except for my wife who belongs here) for the same reason I don’t want anyone with me in my pants. It’s too personal. I’m not at all thrilled about going to anyone else’s house either...it’s almost like I’m in THEIR pants with them. To me, ‘home’ is that one place in the world which is sacred, not to be intruded upon; a place in which all anxiety can be released. I like it fine if I can visit with a friend at some neutral place...although I’m not big on eating with other people either. I can eat or I can visit and chat, but not simultaneously. I sometimes manage it for short periods, but it’s quite stressful.
I’m not much of a drinker (of alcohol), though I do enjoy having a few beers or mixed drinks on occasion. I just want to do that alone too. I’ve often heard in movies and shows that it’s generally not good to ‘drink alone’. To me that’s the only time it is good to drink. When I drink I want to do that at home...I detest bars, even more so if they are noisy. When I have been in a bar I have always tried to be sure to have my back to the wall, preferably near an exit. People are even more unpredictable and potentially hazardous when they drink than otherwise. I like avoiding potentially dangerous interactions with other humans whenever possible.
Recently I saw some show in which a person had made themselves a magazine rack in the bath room reachable from the toilet. I was very surprised when I first knew that many people like to read on the toilet. I still don’t get it. I wonder if they have some bowel trouble. To me, I want to get in, get that done and get out as quickly as possible. If I’m going to read, I’d much rather do that sitting on the porch or lying in bed. Less stinky. I see people brushing their teeth or shaving on shows all the time, and other people coming in and out of the bathroom. To me, those are very private things...I no more want someone else seeing me do that than sitting on the toilet.
Were I ever to be in prison, my only possible chance of surviving it would be in solitary. It seems most people hate that and some consider it a kind of torture; it’s even been said that a few have become insane from so little interaction with other humans. If the only choices I had were general population or solitary, the solitary would be bliss for me. I have a very full and active internal life, and can get on well for long periods with almost zero interaction with other humans. I do like to have SOME interaction, which is why the Internet is great for me.
It’s the best of both worlds. I can shut out everything else and read or watch videos, or I can go on a ‘social’ site and laugh and talk and visit with others, but without the anxiety of other persons being in my physical space, or me in theirs. Most people seem to have a ‘personal space’, typically about 2-4 feet, which they don’t want other people to violate. Many will get angry if you get very close to their face while talking to them. For me, this ‘personal space’ is my home. I call my online friends my push button friends. This does NOT imply that I care nothing for them, or less for them, only that I have the option of instantly vanishing, at the push of a button, if I need to. I don’t feel cornered or trapped in a situation I can’t easily get out of. I used to have daydreams about being able to interact with people ONLY on a mental level, and the Internet made that (kinda) possible for me.
These are my notions of ‘privacy’. I care nothing for the kind of ‘privacy’ in which one never wants Jim to ever know what you said to John, etc. As for government or the corporatocracy, I really couldn’t care less what all they may know about me. I think it hardly matters...the days of that kind of privacy are long gone in a digital age.
TRB
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